Celebrating Differences in Friendship, Life & Style

June 21, 2018

Aside from a couple of childhood gems, it wasn’t until my early twenties that I started to truly form deep and meaningful friendships with a handful of women. Call me crazy, but Zack and I always ran in the same circle (mostly guys) and it just worked for me throughout high school and college. That being said, as time has passed, I have learned just how valuable it can be to have a few close female friends by your side.

I admit, when we packed up our bags and moved across the country in the midst of my pregnancy, I was nervous. What would this mean for these friendships I had formed, especially since I was the first of my friends to have a baby? How would our connections sustain such a dramatic lifestyle change on top of a cross-country move? Would I burn each and every bridge I had built?

The move came with it’s natural ups and downs as moves of this nature often do, but more than the distance, it was tricky to navigate motherhood without my so-called tribe of mothers I was convinced was essential in the early days.

Out of protection of these friendships I avoided the topics of pregnancy and motherhood. It was important to me not to alienate my friends or myself, but it didn’t take me long to realize that the attempt to separate my relationships from my new role wasn’t sustainable. Being a mom has been one of the major players in my life game these last few years, and fortunately or unfortunately I need my friends to understand and accept me for exactly who I am at my core.

While certainly some of my friendships faded once I entered motherhood, Leah (photographed here) is one of the ones who has stuck around through the early nights, dirty diapers and funky schedules. She has sat through many embarrassing meals in public, knows that if we’re hanging out one on one it’s most likely an early morning workout and a cup of coffee and understands that if we’re grabbing drinks it’s most likely at my kitchen table while Owen sleeps in the other room.  

I’m lucky. I realize, because I have had other friends drop off, how rare this sort of bond is. And I am overwhelming grateful for it.

Certainly each our lives, not just mine, have taken slightly different paths since we first met in Phoenix seven years ago. But, we’ve rode the wave through breakups, marriages, big moves (we both headed east to NYC), new careers, motherhood and then some. We have learned to celebrate our differences rather than pin them against one another as reasons we shouldn’t be the best of friends.

Now I recognize that this is coming off borderline love-letter-ish, but for any first time mother who has looked around and thought she might be alone, having a friend that makes you feel the opposite despite your differences is some kind of magic and needs to be acknowledged.

Like so many other women, our styles have changed along with our lifestyles and while we each love so many of the same stores (hello, Everlane) we tend to put our outfits together completely differently even if we’re wearing one item that’s the same (hello, Cotton Short-Sleeve Popover Shirt ). In honor of celebrating our differences and our true styles we’re starting a fun new series.

You might remember our past series, #betweentwokitchens, a baking project we started before Leah headed east, where we would each make the same recipe in our own kitchens and share them with you all. Now we’re taking a stab a series called #betweentwoclosests. Our goal with each post will be to share how we each styled one item in our own way. I’m not entirely sure how frequently we will have the opportunity to share these posts, but I am really looking forward to opening up more about friendship and sharing brands that cater to different styles, body types and lifestyles. Scroll down a bit more to get each of our outfit details below and a big thank you to Everlane for helping us bring this project to life!

Leah:

The Cotton Short-Sleeve Popover Shirt, The Cheeky Straight Jean, The Modern Oxford & The Foldover Crossbody.

Hailey:

The Cotton Short-Sleeve Popover Shirt, The Wide Leg Crop Pant, The Day Heel Mule & The Market Tote.   

And some words about friendship for the road: “The most loving thing we can do for someone is to accept them. The most unloving thing we can do is try to change them. When you try to change someone, you’re effectively saying that you know what is best for them. Your unsolicited “help” is a way of controlling and judging them. People may not show up the way you want them to, but when you accept them the way they are, you can let go, forgive and release… Accepting someone where they are is not only the kindest thing you can do for them, it’s also the kindest thing you can do for yourself.” – Gabrielle Bernstein

Photography by Amy Frances.

 

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