A Change in Seasons and a Change In Me

As another season begins to take form I’m feeling a shift in myself too. Two years into this motherhood gig and the never-ending changes seem to surprise me less and less. It’s a wild ride and I’m beyond grateful to have the opportunity to ebb and flow with it all.

Maybe it’s the lack of a physical home of our own, not being in NYC or just two plus years of work from home life with a baby/toddler that have left me itching for something more. This isn’t a complaint – I am beyond grateful for these last two years and my ability to work from home with David, bring him to work with me and to take my business full-time. It has truly been the greatest gift.

I’ve spent a lot of time feeling guilty about this, but it dawned on me recently that ignoring the voice inside telling me that I need some separation, some time for just me and some space to really dedicate myself to work is doing us all a disservice. I’ve been on edge, stressed and not myself. The point is that if I want to be the best mom I know I can be I have to listen to that inner voice and take care of myself.

As a stay at home mom it feels like I carry a lot of the weight of the daily responsibilities with Davic and that it is almost impossible to take the time for my work, myself or my friendships, but I’m learning (slowly) that this doesn’t always have to be the case. I have felt guilty about asking for time for me, for a break when I really need it or help because this is my job, it’s my responsibility to care for David.

Finding balance as a work-from-home family has it’s own peaks and pits. Schedules are not set and each day, week and month looks a little different. It requires constant awareness and flexibility on all parts and as rewarding as it is to have that flexibility, it’s not all rainbows and unicorns either.

I’m taking baby steps to make more room for me in my life, for time that I’m not 100% consumed with motherhood, and in all honesty it feels really good. I love being David’s mom more than anything else, but in order to be fully present I need a break every now and then. I’ll never be perfect at this job, but I’m doing my best every single day.

Did anyone else experience similar feelings when your little one turned two? Would love to know how you mothers make guilt-free time for you!